The Walk Back Home

This post began as a note about using weed to help manage or treat emotional issues but it turned into a full-blown account of my experience using cannabis as emotional medicine. I just wanted to organize my thoughts in writing at first, but I think I'm going to share this because I find the potential  of this plant for healing emotional trauma is incredible.  It's only been a few months but I've gone through some incredible transformations as a result.  (There are also some pretty gnarly personal tidbits in here regarding my own process of letting go & growing up - be warned!) Using cannabis has been tremendously important for my spiritual and emotional growth - not because it helps to facilitate meditative states or expanded consciousness (although it's great at doing this, it kind of feels like cheating) but because it's helped me identify and eliminate emotional blockages that were slowing down my evolution. It's helped me develop the insight n...

The next step for many of us seems to be detaching from the judgments that we have placed upon the world, upon society, and upon others. This is the only logical step because the truth of the matter is that when we judge another we're really just judging another facet of ourselves. That's for a different discussion though. Who of us haven't found ourselves gawking in disgust, horror, or anger at the news? Who hasn't at least had a passing thought about how they hate war, about how things are so terrible, or about how evil the people perpetrating these atrocities are? If we didn't at least some anger toward the things happening world, well, we'd be pretty darn apathetic. But now it's time to let these judgments pass, for that's all they are. Judgment only serves to further separate us from others - even a so-called 'justified' judgment, such as claiming that we're better than someone because we'd never do the same things as ...

I used heroin for ~10 years. I had always been aware that drug use was a bit of a 'band-aid' approach to managing problems, but it felt so damn good that I didn't care. I also never realized that I was actually hiding from anything. I didn't realize that it only felt good because it gave pause to my problems. I thought I just liked getting high. Fast forward to being largely sober for a year, and I realized that  if I didn't have anything to hide from, I wouldn't have started using in the first place.  The thought of gambling my life by using drugs wouldn't have even occurred because I would have felt good enough with myself, my relationships, and my life to consider that ridiculous. So I started doing some inner work.  This is the most important point.  Figure out  why exactly you started using.  A lot of time drug users have some sort of issue with their self-image or self-confidence and some form of personal anxiety. These problems are certainly...

The objective plane is the physical, observable universe. Most people assume that the objective plane is the catalyst for mental and emotional states. We're taught since school that the CAUSE is external, and the EFFECT is internal. This is ass backwards. The subjective plane is, as best I can describe, more akin to the emotional/astral/mental realms. From our limited third person perspective (with the exception of those who are well-trained in the arts of empathy and clairvoyance) it's difficult to observe another person's emotional/astral/mental state, thus they are referred to as 'subjective.' As mentioned, our ass-backwards education system and society encourages us to believe that we are not directly responsible for our life situations. Many of us find it hard to believe that simply tuning in to our desires and holding faith will transform the physical, objective reality into something according to our wishes. Obviously this doesn't mean that if ...

You don’t build freedom by changing the world. You find freedom (or rather, return to it) by not letting the world change you. True freedom comes from recognizing the disorder and refusing to contribute to it. Only once you can witness chaos without needing to control it can you really begin to make a difference

Like a seamstress twirls thread into pieces of clothing I try to spin these words into thesis and poetry. The flick of my tongue sends words on the run, fleeing from captivity within the annals of Me to scribe songs not yet sung. It's a far-flung fetter, but there's not much better than hearing a hesitant stutter learn to compose treasure. I find pleasure in matching my mumbles to a measure, time signatures and beats not discernable from my mind's infrastructure

My thoughts are for me; they shall only drift elsewhere when wishing others great fortune and health. My thoughts are for me, I will remind myself constantly of my infinite capacity. My innate strength is unbeknownst, the flow of fire from my most highest truth can melt stones of willpower into molds of youth. Nobody needs to love me but me, I'll craft my image into what I can be. What I think is what I soon see, and my reflection loves to help me believe. I sunk into the song of silence, summer's run its course and I fall into an autumn lull as leaves so flutter forth.

The mind is not just some tool with which we perceive reality. Perception is the job of the brain. The  brain is the device through which the physical universe is filtered, and by integrating and analyzing an almost infinite bombardment of frequencies it helps us construe the idea of "reality." The mind, however, lies beyond that. In fact, the mind doesn't even perceive at all. Brain or no brain, the Mind remains. Perception draws understanding through the use of our senses, but the Mind is that which observes the resulting perception. If one lost the use of all their senses, the Mind would still very much be observing through them, but there is no individual perception to be observed. If I die, my mind does not die. Saying my mind is folly, anyways, because one can not own  mind. Our sense of being is simply a facet of the Great Mind which observes through the lens of our senses and perceives through the supercomputer of the brain. The mind is not going to disa...

It usually hurts to release something. Getting rid of something - a habit, an emotional trait, a belief - almost always hurts because it feels like you're trading  something for nothing. No matter how healthy or unhealthy the behavior or habit is, be it an addiction or a tendency to smile when you see birds, releasing anything can be tough because, at least for a moment, you feel like you have less than you did before. One trades the sensation of fullness for the sensation of being empty. For this reason, many have a hard time 'letting go' of things like unhealthy relationships, addictions, or habitual behavior. After a time, they begin to identify with it and tend to protect or deny it. The important thing to recognize here is that releasing something creates room for an infinite multitude of possibilities. Sure, when you release something, you're left feeling like an empty void. In that void, though, lies the unlimited and unmanifested potential of your min...